Select Page

Using the Power of “No” to Slay the Pleaser

by | Apr 17, 2023 | 0 comments

As a single mother, self-care is a vital oasis, inviting me to pause and rejuvenate amidst the challenges of daily life. Whether it’s a peaceful walk, meditation, or enjoying time with friends, self-care helps restore balance and happiness.

Feeling the Weight: How Stress Affects Us as Single Moms

Single motherhood can be a whirlwind of stress, juggling emotions, finances, and time. In the past, stress has taken a toll on my body and mind, leading to health issues and mental struggles, such as depression and anxiety.

The Power of ‘No’

I’ve learnt to embrace the power of ‘no’ to create healthy boundaries and protect my well-being. Saying ‘no’ allows me to prioritize myself, ensuring I have the energy to fulfill my roles with grace.

The Benefits of Saying ‘No’

Saying ‘no’ isn’t a rejection, but a mindful choice for your current situation. By declining some requests, I’ve preserved energy for self-care and nurtured more meaningful relationships.

A Simple Strategy for Saying ‘No’: Using ‘I’ Statements

I cultivate the art of ‘no’ by practicing self-care daily, setting boundaries, using ‘I’ statements. This gentle approach lets my preserve my well-being without sacrificing connection with others.

Using “I” statements is a powerful way of minimizing blaming others for making us feel guilty or resentful about saying ‘no’. For example, you can say: “I am unable–not unwilling–to help out today because I have other commitments.” Or: “I’m sorry but I won’t be able to attend your party because my child has school tomorrow morning.” This helps keep focus off those who might be getting upset by our refusal while also allowing us room in which we can still feel good about ourselves even though we’re turning down an offer.

One Other Simple Strategy: Answering a Request with a Question

If someone asks for help with a project or task, I usually ask them how much time they think it will take them to complete it. This usually helps to show how reasonable the request is, and is a great entry point to justifying that “no”.

Embrace the power of self-care and saying ‘no’ in your journey as a single mom, for it is in nurturing yourself that you truly flourish and create a loving, harmonious space for your family to thrive.

About Kerry-Ann Thompson


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *